Why Android Tablets suck

Number 1 reason why you shouldn’t buy a tablet: your software, all those programs you’ve been using since you were born, will not work on it! Yes, they will try to convince you that “you don’t need them”, when in fact, it’s the other way around: what you don’t really need is all the crappy software that comes with a tablet! (And don’t try to convince me that your software works better, it doesn’t, and besides, I’ve been using my software for years, and I love it, and I’m productive with it, and it took me a while to learn, ok? so RESPECT ME!)

I just had a quick look at some of the software that I use fairly often on my laptop: Paintshop, animated graphix software, personal finance software , mindmapping software that I use, personal information managers, FTP programs, video editing software, Acrobat, my file explorer, my text editor, the menu builder that I use for my websites, my business card maker, all the games that I have on my computer which I collected for years (even some MS-DOS games!), my back up managers, my cool sticky notes program (I use the awesome notezilla, which even lets me stick notes to webpages and they pop up when I visit them again), etc, etc.
ETC x 100. OK?


Number 2: Don’t try to make me believe that if I plug in my electric shaver’s cord to a pig’s nose, it will get charged, ok? typing on a tablet stinks BIG TIME. Seriously. It’s awful! The average person can type 3 times as fast on a standard keyboard. Experienced tablet users can perhaps type 50% as fast as a person typing on a standard keyboard. The experience of typing on a tiny, flat surface is horrible. Fine, they were not designed for that, but don’t try to convince me otherwise, ok? Maybe when they take voice recognition to the next level they’ll have something to say (and Android has several patents already and doing lots of research in this field, by the way), at present, better don’t mention it, ok?

Number 3: Picture this in your mind: take a seat on a chair and imagine yourself using a tablet on your table. Does it feel weird? Yes, you’ll probably have to put your tablet on the table, move your head right on top (picture that too) and then, in that very position, try to do something useful for more than 5 minutes without getting tired. Hard, isn’t it? I’ll give you a tip: it’s not gonna be easy!  (they’re pretty smart, you’ll never sea a chair near one of these gadgets when they try to sell you one!)

You see, tablets HATE chairs and tables, they’re natural enemies!
Tablets were designed to be used whilst you were resting on your sofa, bear that in mind.

Number 4: If you really need to buy something (which I doubt), this is a very good time to buy a netbook. They’re really cheap now. Prices have been going down for a while…
This is the first wave of tablets, don’t make a hasty decission, they have a very long way to go. These gadgets are incredibly overpriced and appart from having a bit of fun with them for a while, they really are not very productive, particularly if you’re an experienced computer user.

Number 5: Tablets are so dirty! I walked into one of those big apple shops the other day, all tablet screens were incredibly dirty. Seriously! even if you clean them, your fingers are lubricated naturally by your body’s water and fat. It’s a human thing.
Look, if “mind commands” evolve a lot within the next few years and are implemented, I might buy one, but for the time being, touching a screen every 2 seconds is a bit revolting, even if you don’t lick your fingers after having your ice cream. ;)

But I’m open minded. I have to admit that I’d rather buy a tablet than one of those ridiculous book readers, which are good for nothing else. But spending over 400 bucks for that when I can read any book that I want on my computer already, well… ask yourself how many books you read every year first. ;)